It’s Monday. I can hardly believe all that’s taken place in a week! What we had hoped would be a sigh of relief heading into the authentication process for our documents turned out to be a week-long adrenaline rush of a paper chase. It was too crazy to forget, but I wanted to document this here so I will remember all the details!
But first, I think I need to back up and provide some background. What is the paper chase, you ask? For anyone who has adopted internationally, ‘the paper chase’ brings up a lot of memories and emotions. Some adrenaline junkies love the challenge. Type A personalities tackle the paper chase with a high level of organization, but sadly this does not mean that all will go smoothly. The challenges of the paper chase can sometimes be enough to make someone with very low blood pressure (like me) suddenly feel like they could use some Lisinopril, stat! No matter how you cut it, the paper chase is unique to every family and we feel it is a greatly strategic time when God shows up in a big way, proving that we cannot do this on our own strength and we are most certainly not alone in the struggle. It is a true labor of love!
Paper chasing means filling out countless forms and typing up letters. It means singing some things yourself before a notary, and it means asking favors of doctors, employers, references, pastors, etc….You aren’t just asking these people to write you a letter to include with your file. What you are really asking these people to do is to write an impeccably worded letter often with many particular details that must be included, to sign it perfectly, and to find a perfect notary who will sign his or her name and fill out the jurat perfectly. You are not just chasing papers. You are producing PERFECT documents and requesting PERFECT documents from others. 🙂
For the most part, Gabe and I do love the paper chase because it comes with a list that we can tackle throughout the homestudy process. It is one of the very few times when we have some semblance of control, determining how fast or slow the process moves along depending on how ‘paper ready’ we are. Speaking from our experience with three Ugandan adoptions, where all we needed was a bunch of photocopies of documents we mostly had on file already (old birth certificates, original marriage certficiates, etc), we knew that a China adoption would vastly differ! { “Seriously – gold seals? FedExing documents to various government offices in different cities? Papers getting rejected because of extra pen marks? Is this really what it’s like?” we wondered…}
One of our biggest logistical concerns with moving forward to adopt Eden so shortly before we had to leave for Mexico was the fact that we’d be in Mexico during a very important period of time in the adoption process – the USCIS approval process and dossier document paper chase. We knew that mailing things in and out of Mexico would not be a very smart idea, not to mention that often we would simply have to be present in Michigan to get papers picked up, delivered, copies made, mailbox to check, etc. What to do? We were leaving for Mexico by the first week of September, but our homestudy wasn’t even finished yet! We’d done our level best to acquire every single dossier document ahead of our departure, so that all would remain was our homestudy and i800a approval…Still, you can’t be physically present in two places at once.
Who could we ask to help us with this task? The requirements were:
1) Make sure this person was fearless and super on-the-ball
2) Choose someone not likely to resent us for all the trouble this could potentially be for them
3) Someone who knew what they were doing and could adjust if things don’t go as planned (!!)
4) Ideally, this would have to be someone who felt called to be a part of this and saw this as a wonderful opportunity to be a part of getting Eden home, not just a task on his or her “already busy” to-do list.
Because everything with Eden’s situation moved so very fast in July, simultaneously while we were trying to finish up rennovations on our home in Michigan, I am not really sure if August 2015 will be a memory I will hold onto or become one giant blur that my mind will choose to forget. It was a very, very crazy period of our lives! Money concerns with this adoption, the emotions of realizing we had a new daughter halfway around the world with medical needs who was WAITING on US to come get her (!!)… Details surrounding our home needing to get finished on time, our kids attending school for one month, Gabe’s job role changing, and me quitting my job after working for 6 years. I just kept praying “Who, God? Who?! Who can be our paper stork to get these precious papers moved to where they need to go and at the right time?”
I ran multiple people through my head, but time and time again I just did not have a peace about it. One morning, I woke up quite concerned that we would be leaving Michigan in 2 short weeks and I still did not know who to pass the paper baton to. And then – Shannon popped in my head! A friend whom I’ve known casually for the past 3 years through our local foster-adopt support group (MOSAIC). She’s adopted from China twice already, and it’s through watching her most recent adoption take place that I had felt drawn to check out the China special needs program again.
So, late one night I wrote her a message that went like this:
“Hey, I have been really praying and thinking about how we’re going to get through this next 4-8 weeks or so through the point of DTC. I’ve run many people through my head, but I just think it’s going to be awfully nervewracking for me and for someone who’s never done this before. I thought I’d ask you….if by any chance you’d be willing to be our paper pusher? I will have everything all lined up and organized before we leave, and I am hoping it wouldn’t be too labor intensive beyond a trip up to Secretary of State and then FedExing out, since we have everything all in order…Yet, it is a LOT to ask of anyone I know!! Thoughts?! NO PRESSURE! 🙂 ”
It kind of felt like I was asking someone to babysit my newborn baby for me while I was sprinting for another country. Because in reality, these papers are priceless and worth countless hours of time, money, and more time!!
Guess what?! This is what she wrote back almost immediately! –
“I’m honored and yes, and this is really quite amusing because HONESTLY I was just telling my husband how I’d love the challenge of going through all of the adoption paperwork insanity again, but won’t because I’m not ready for another child. So thank you – I can now live out my absurd desire to do adoption paperwork!”
Now, isn’t that just amazing? Did you see what happened there? I thought I would be a burden to ask her to care & keep my “paperwork baby,” and I kind of felt like a lame/desperate person for not having someone lined up to do this until 2 weeks before we left for Mexico. But at the same time, the same DAY as I was wrestling with this problem, Shannon had this desire planted on her heart by God to do crazy adoption paperwork!! How BEAUTIFUL is that?